Dear Meat Letter of the Day: Women.
Couldn’t have said this better myself. Well, except for the typos. I could have written it without those, I guess, and it would be better. But mostly it’s awesome.
Dear Girls, Ladies, Women, Sisters, Wives, Mothers, Girlfriends, Daughters and all those of the Female Persuasion,
You are beautiful. Really. Not just in the ‘inside-that-counts’ way. You are beautiful in pretty much all the ways. You perfectly complement our strengths and weaknesses with yours. Your ability to love and relate keeps the world going round, and none of us would be half the men we are without you.
We think you are totally unfathomable and mysterious – our lives are so much richer for the complicated dance it is to try and figure you out.
We cannot imagine why you need so many shoes, or why you voluntarily carry half a metric tonne around in your bags all day. We don’t know why Robert Pattinson appeals to you so much, or what it is that makes you cry during that bit in Titanic. We can’t figure out where you learned to cook so well (or what drove you to incorporate tofu in your meals), and how you find the time to do all your hair and makeup every day. We have no idea how you make ordinary pieces of fabric and cloth look so good when you wear them, or what it is about you that makes you so hard to say no to when you do.
And we REALLY don’t know why you haven’t been told all of this a million times before. Why you don’t deeply believe this all to be true about yourself already. We can’t understand why your father, brother, boss, husband, ex-husband, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, boy who is a friend, grandfather, stranger you talked to on the train that time, fiancé or uncle didn’t tell you how profoundly you’ve affected them, and how much they love you.
Well. Actually, that’s not entirely true. We can understand a little of why they didn’t do that. We men are almost universally lame at recognizing the value of a well-spoken word, and how important one is to you. We’re not as naturally gifted as you are in connecting to our own hearts, thoughts and feelings, and translating them for you. We might pretend to be cool, calm, collected and tough, but we can also be pretty scared of you too. Not that you’re scary, but it’s just that we can’t understand you, and fear is all about the things unknown.
But this is no excuse. And the point is that you should have been told and shown all of this, and much more, throughout your life, but you weren’t. Sometimes we just figure you already know and don’t want you to get a big head. Sometimes we fear the rejection that could come with being so candid and open-hearted. Sometimes we’re just not man enough to take the plunge.
And so we’re sorry. For the we have treated you – or, more probably, not treated you. You deserve better and are worth more. Some or us read your letters here, and our faux-macho hearts break a little bit inside, and want to correct this, if it’s still possible. If you haven’t lost faith in us completely.
You inspire and amaze us, you dazzle and intrigue us. You are worth the lifetime it takes to get to know you. You are the princess in the tower we are willing to climb to reach you. You are all the fairytale heroines you thought you weren’t allowed to think you were. You are God’s gift to men, and you don’t know how much we love you.
I would like to say that we will do better from now on, and always remind you of your value, but let’s be honest – you know how we are. If we forget in future, please give us a smack on the head or punch in
the arm. We can take it. We just can’t take hints very well.
Yours sincerely,
Boys, Gentlemen, Men, Brothers, Husbands, Fathers, Boyfriends, Sons and all those of the Male Persuasion
